As a business owner, every day I need to align with my reason for doing what I do.
And I have a really deep reason for doing what I do: I never want anyone to suffer like I used to suffer.
My past self seems like a distant memory now, but she was in agony.
Like many children of the 1980s, I bore the brunt of physical and verbal violence from my parents as a young child. Like many women, I bore the brunt of sexual objectification and violence in my adulthood. And, to escape the pain, I developed a habit of living in my mind, and denying my feelings.
By the age of 20, my inner loneliness and pain had reached breaking point, and I took an overdose of antidepressants because I couldn’t see any other way through the pain and back to life. I was lucky to survive, and I awoke with a brand new mindset.
The principles I promised myself to live by from that moment on were: 1. I would never knowingly play the victim again, 2. I would never attempt suicide again (it didn’t work), and 3. I had an important mission to distil the essence of my Divine Inspiration to those who needed my specific guidance.
However, the PTSD from the experience plagued my life, and I didn’t feel as though any mental health practitioners had the capacity to empathize with my pain. So I did what many people do: I used a whole range of substances to numb the negative feelings. At first, alcohol, nicotine and marijuana. Then, ecstasy, cocaine and laughing gas. Finally, prescription pharmaceuticals, which paradoxically both killed my spirit, and returned me to my deep desire to bring the essence of self-empowerment, self-mastery and spirituality into the realms of mental health.
Withdrawing from prescription medication over a period of four years, I needed every spiritual tool in my toolbox, AND I needed the support of others who deeply understood and could SEE me and FEEL me in what I was going through. I am forever grateful to all those who held space for me in this way.
But now let me get back to why I am telling you this: because of the agony I have lived through, and the powerful gifts of insight, knowledge and empathy it has delivered me (now I have integrated the lessons), my dream is to be able to support YOU to make healthy choices. To help YOU lay the foundation for authentic life, that is service-oriented, self-honouring, meaningful and fulfilling. My prescription for this is as follows:
CONNECT to your true feelings, desires, and vision for your life
UNDERSTAND how you got in the pickle of perfectionism, overthinking and over-giving (and how to get out of it)
LET GO of situations that encourage you to keep your bad habits and compulsions
RE-WIRE your being for flow, joy, unconditional love and self-honouring.
We often feel like tomorrow is the best time to act.
But really, the NOW moment is the only moment that ever exists.
What choices are YOU making in this NOW moment?
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